Sisterly Bonding, The Advanced Course

Sisters Bonding with Sisters

Family Heirloom Dilemma

Grandmother’s Bedroom Set

When we moved out of our Ann Arbor condo in February we did our best to only bring the things we will actually use to our 1200 square foot lake cottage. Everything else went into the estate sale (see The Transience of Things). The one exception was a beautiful mahogany chest of drawers that had been my grandmother’s and then my mother’s. I could not bear to throw or give it away, but had absolutely no space for it.

Allegra

My sister, Allegra, did some research on possibly shipping it to her home in Santa Fe. The cost was so expensive that we gave up on sending it to anyone. Then Allegra suggested she might be able to drive from Santa Fe to Michigan to pick it up. I loved the idea, especially since I had not seen Allegra in 2 and a half years; but I tried to not get my hopes up since it involved 24 hours of driving. When Allegra called two weeks ago to let me know she would be coming within the week I was over the moon with delight.

Planning for a Visit that is More Than a Visit

How do you pack two and a half years of catching up into two and a half days? Not possible. So I tried to think of what Allegra would enjoy most. Introducing her to my friends, cafe sitting on Main Street in Ann Arbor, and puppies came to mind.

One of David’s colleagues has two dogs, Kennedy–a gorgeous standard poodle, and Teddi–a large labradoodle. They had a litter of 10 puppies earlier in the spring. There were still four left. When they were born, Larry had just died so I was not ready to look at new dogs. But when Allegra requested puppies, I was a push over. Arrangements were made to go visit “just for fun”. David warned me that puppies are very dangerous because they have magical powers that pull you to them. You cannot walk away from a puppy. Of course, he was right.

Papa Kennedy with his Daughters

Delayed Motherhood–Its Never too Late

Neither Allegra or I have any children. Allegra should have had a whole house full of babies. I was finally emotionally evolved enough to be a good mother by the time I was 50, but it was never a primal need. Going to see the puppies triggered all our latent oxytocin. Allegra’s little girl, Becky, found her immediately. She waddled over to Allegra, climbed on her lap, and settled in. Becky knew even before Allegra (who had arrived looking for a little boy) did.

It took us about 40 minutes to be able to tell the four puppies apart. I liked Becky too, but then I found another little girl who had a skip in her step and a twinkle in her. Mine. Her name is Lucy. So the sisters adopted two little sisters and became first time moms together.

Puppies Go To Forever Homes

Allegra called and texted throughout her two-day trip home to relate the saga of their journey. Now she calls to tell me how her child has to be the smartest, sweetest, most evolved being ever born. She pauses between enumerating the wonders of her daughter to apologize for being such a cliche mother and then plunges back into bragging. I send pictures, relate doctor visits, and compare weight. At 13 weeks Lucy was 19.5 pounds and Becky was 15.5 pounds. They are beginning to become individuals.

It has been three weeks since Allegra’s visit. My heart has been too full to write about it. Some experiences are beyond worlds. As I get older simply sharing experiences reaches the top of the list of “what’s important”. I will be grateful for the rest of my life for these two and a half days with Allegra. The decades of relationship seemed to coalesce into a deep, soulful ball of cosmic matter. We know each other. We accept our flaws. We love each other. And now we are bonded at yet another level with the adoption of our two little girls.

I have taken a picture in my heart (see Life memories: Scrapbooks in the Mind) of the happy days of Allegra’s visit. It will remain with me forever.